*** NANAMIN has joined 003.14.005.70 <NANAMIN> This is Nanami Chiaki. <NANAMIN> ... <NANAMIN> Feel free to leave a message. <NANAMIN> I'll get back to you as soon as I can. <NANAMIN> Thank you.
[ She's silent for the longest of moments, tugging at her arm uncomfortably. The guilt really eats at her when it comes to this sort of thing; killing others isn't something that she's used to, or hell, something that she wants to make a norm. ]
... I'm glad. [ That, at the very least, he isn't mad at her. She expected him to be, but it's fine if he isn't. She doesn't look at him in the eyes, though, just staring at the table and keeping her voice low. ]
I've been thinking about it... finding another way. I don't want to hurt anymore people. I... made a grave for him, too. I visit every day.
[ Look, she doesn't like this any more than most sane people do. It hurts. But then, she looks at Hinata, directly in the eye, trying to be brave. It's painful, it's just like that trial... and yet, it's different. She has to do this, keeping a stern look in her eyes as she speaks, serious. ]
Hinata-kun. Can you promise me something? I don't want to hurt anybody. That's why... if anything happens, if I go crazy again, I need you to stop me. Can you do that?
I... you were my first friend, Nanami, you know? I can't be mad at you. Not... not even for something like this.
[He thinks she probably does know that, considering what the entire purpose of the program had been in the beginning. To try to give him and the others what they'd never had before.
When she looks him in the eye, he stops trying to avoid her gaze. As much as he wants to, as much as he wants to just take time and think it over, he can't just let this hang.]
I'll... I'll do everything I can, Nanami. Y-you just have to tell me, and I'll... [He doesn't know what he's going to do, but he can't refuse her request for help like that. Not when it's something he might actually be able to do.]
Do... do the others know...? [And, unspoken, the follow-up, can I tell them...? Because honestly, someone like Fuyuhiko or Gundam is probably the better one to talk to about this kind of thing. Even Mahiru, just based on how long she's been here.]
[ It's the same for her. When it comes down to it, the first friend she's ever had was Hinata himself. He's one of the few people who treated her as something more than just... data, even now that he knows the truth. ]
I haven't told the others yet. You're the first one... I told. [ There's a pause, just slight. Now to change the subject. ]
Hey, Hinata-kun... have you been doing alright... since the last time we talked? The others, they... they don't know about that, do they? [ And by 'that' she gestures towards his starking red eyes. She's not talking about the eye color itself, though. She's talking about what it means.
Since by now they've pretty much surmised that this world likes to make "jokes" based on their lives. They're not funny. ]
[Then he won't tell anyone the details of what they've discussed, either. Maybe nudge his classmates to talk to her more, make sure they're all there for her.
At the gesture, he stiffens a little. The subject change is welcome, but did it have to be that?? It's still a sore spot for him, even if,]
...Kuzuryuu knows. He said it's just the Fog God messing with us, but... shit!
[Fuyuhiko! And Gundam. Give him a second, Chiaki, he's digging in his bag to haul out his laptop and set it to the side of the table so it's not obscuring their view of each other. Let him just bring the network back up as he explains,]
They were at the mountain, I've been waiting to hear back from them. Make sure they're okay.
[More cat-herding. But with that out of the way, and no response from the other two dangans, Hajime just sighs again and rubs his eyes with one hand.]
A shade, [he admits quietly, glancing toward her again.] I've... talked to a lot of people over the last new days, and that's... that's supposedly what I'm going to be. It's... not just the eyes, I saw...
[And he gestures vaguely toward his hair. How even did Izuru's hair work, the truest mystery.]
But... like Kuzuryuu said, it's probably just... the Fog God trying to scare me. I hope, anyway.
...Yeah. I'm gonna try, anyway. It's just... it's hard, Nanami. The other day, I found out I can turn invisible. It didn't last too long, but at the time, all I could think about was... that I could literally disappear.
[His worst fear made a literal truth. Though he might still be present as Hajime, no one could see him. Maybe no one would be able to hear him, either, with time... he just doesn't know, and that's more frightening than anything else about his changes.]
And I'm... I just don't know. I've been talking to a whole bunch of different people about what shades are capable of, and... they eat souls, Nanami. They leave people in comas that they'll never be able to wake up from.
[For many reasons, not the least of which are his classmates back home, that bothers him.]
[ She doesn't say anything at first. All she does, instead, is listen carefully, trying to parse things through and make sure that she doesn't accidentally say something... well, something bad, and unbefitting of the situation.
Looking at him with sullen eyes, she brings her hand up to his shoulder, thinking. What can she say? ]
... Hey, Hinata-kun. Just because you can turn invisible doesn't mean that you have to, I think. [ Even though Nanami herself is going through her own problems, she still tries her best to keep a steady mindset and attempt to pull things through. Especially since his biggest fear is coming to life. ] Just think of it like becoming a super hero. There are some super heroes... in games, they can't control their powers at first, right? So that's what you have to do. Learn to control the ability. Take deep breaths when it does happen, and then, remember that you're still there, that you still exist.
Ah, if it happens though, you can always contact me. Unless becoming invisible makes you intangible, too... Hmm. We'll figure something out.
No, they could... I could still touch things, people could still feel me when I was invisible.
[He shakes his head almost immediately at that, because being invisible and intangible? He doesn't want to think about that, much less think about eventually losing his voice as well. But no one's said anything about becoming inaudible, so for now... he just takes a deep breath, like she said, and presses his hands flat down on the table as if to try to gather support from it.]
But... yeah. I'll do my best, so that means... you have to do your best, too, okay? Um... I don't know too much about your changes, but... Vietnam's someone good to talk to. She's... helped me a lot, here, so I know I can count on her to help you, too.
... Mm, if that's the case, then it's fine, Hinata-kun. Because even if you're invisible, as long as you have your voice, as long as you can still touch things, as long as people can still feel you, it'll be okay.
If it's just you that disappears, maybe you should bring something with you in case of emergency... ah, like a notepad, or something.
[ However, she does nod slowly at his words. ] ..... I will.
My clothes disappeared, too, so I don't know if carrying something will help, but... it's worth a try, I guess.
[He's quiet for a moment as he looks away to refresh the rsdos page, hoping to hear from either Gundam or Fuyuhiko. Or anyone else he's contacted, really, he has a laundry list of people to care about.]
And... okay. If something happens again... please let me know? You're... you're my best friend, s-so... if something happens, I want to, you know, be there for you. As much as I can.
... Hm. [ That's interesting to know, which is why she is... mulling it over in her head. ]
Maybe if you don't carry it in your pockets, or have it touch your skin... I'm not sure how it works. We'd have to test it out, probably. To see if you can turn things invisible... or if it's just you.
[ Look, she's trying to be helpful here, even though at this point she's probably sounding a lot like some mad scientist performing experiments on her test subject. ]
But... I will. I really will. I'm glad, Hinata-kun. That you called me your best friend. You're the first friend I've ever had, after all. [ A beat, and then: ] Hey, Hinata-kun. Do you want to come with me, later? I want to visit that person's grave again...
[He's been through enough tonight, please don't involve him in your mad experiments-! Tomorrow is fine.
He can't help but smile when she says she'll let him know, though, and even more that she's glad to be called his best friend. Saying stuff like that is still nerve-wracking for him, even if his confidence has improved by leaps and bounds. That smile fades quickly when she brings up that person's grave, and he just nods quietly. It's another few seconds before he adds,] Maybe... not tonight for that either, just in case Tanaka and Kuzuryuu need my help on the mountain, but... I'll definitely do that with you. Promise.
[ There's a soft smile slightly; it seems that she's accepted both his words and decides that it's only fair that he go ahead and help the others. ] Just... be careful, if you go to the mountain again.
[Just going to check his laptop again. He messaged quite a lot of people tonight that he has to get back to.]
I'm... probably going to hang out here for a while and wait for people to message me back... do you want something to drink or anything...? If you wanted to stay for a while, I mean, if you've got something you'd rather do...
[ When he says not to worry, she can't help but worry nevertheless. It's what she's done since from the very beginning, after all. Worrying about others, thinking about them before herself. ]
... I can stay with you, Hinata-kun. I'm not in a hurry to do anything.
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... I'm glad. [ That, at the very least, he isn't mad at her. She expected him to be, but it's fine if he isn't. She doesn't look at him in the eyes, though, just staring at the table and keeping her voice low. ]
I've been thinking about it... finding another way. I don't want to hurt anymore people. I... made a grave for him, too. I visit every day.
[ Look, she doesn't like this any more than most sane people do. It hurts. But then, she looks at Hinata, directly in the eye, trying to be brave. It's painful, it's just like that trial... and yet, it's different. She has to do this, keeping a stern look in her eyes as she speaks, serious. ]
Hinata-kun. Can you promise me something? I don't want to hurt anybody. That's why... if anything happens, if I go crazy again, I need you to stop me. Can you do that?
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[He thinks she probably does know that, considering what the entire purpose of the program had been in the beginning. To try to give him and the others what they'd never had before.
When she looks him in the eye, he stops trying to avoid her gaze. As much as he wants to, as much as he wants to just take time and think it over, he can't just let this hang.]
I'll... I'll do everything I can, Nanami. Y-you just have to tell me, and I'll... [He doesn't know what he's going to do, but he can't refuse her request for help like that. Not when it's something he might actually be able to do.]
Do... do the others know...? [And, unspoken, the follow-up, can I tell them...? Because honestly, someone like Fuyuhiko or Gundam is probably the better one to talk to about this kind of thing. Even Mahiru, just based on how long she's been here.]
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I haven't told the others yet. You're the first one... I told. [ There's a pause, just slight. Now to change the subject. ]
Hey, Hinata-kun... have you been doing alright... since the last time we talked? The others, they... they don't know about that, do they? [ And by 'that' she gestures towards his starking red eyes. She's not talking about the eye color itself, though. She's talking about what it means.
Since by now they've pretty much surmised that this world likes to make "jokes" based on their lives. They're not funny. ]
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[Then he won't tell anyone the details of what they've discussed, either. Maybe nudge his classmates to talk to her more, make sure they're all there for her.
At the gesture, he stiffens a little. The subject change is welcome, but did it have to be that?? It's still a sore spot for him, even if,]
...Kuzuryuu knows. He said it's just the Fog God messing with us, but... shit!
[Fuyuhiko! And Gundam. Give him a second, Chiaki, he's digging in his bag to haul out his laptop and set it to the side of the table so it's not obscuring their view of each other. Let him just bring the network back up as he explains,]
They were at the mountain, I've been waiting to hear back from them. Make sure they're okay.
[More cat-herding. But with that out of the way, and no response from the other two dangans, Hajime just sighs again and rubs his eyes with one hand.]
A shade, [he admits quietly, glancing toward her again.] I've... talked to a lot of people over the last new days, and that's... that's supposedly what I'm going to be. It's... not just the eyes, I saw...
[And he gestures vaguely toward his hair. How even did Izuru's hair work, the truest mystery.]
But... like Kuzuryuu said, it's probably just... the Fog God trying to scare me. I hope, anyway.
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I think so, too. After all, Hinata-kun is still Hinata-kun. I'm sure that if you hold onto that, you won't become Kamukura Izuru.
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[His worst fear made a literal truth. Though he might still be present as Hajime, no one could see him. Maybe no one would be able to hear him, either, with time... he just doesn't know, and that's more frightening than anything else about his changes.]
And I'm... I just don't know. I've been talking to a whole bunch of different people about what shades are capable of, and... they eat souls, Nanami. They leave people in comas that they'll never be able to wake up from.
[For many reasons, not the least of which are his classmates back home, that bothers him.]
I don't... want to do that. I don't think I can.
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Looking at him with sullen eyes, she brings her hand up to his shoulder, thinking. What can she say? ]
... Hey, Hinata-kun. Just because you can turn invisible doesn't mean that you have to, I think. [ Even though Nanami herself is going through her own problems, she still tries her best to keep a steady mindset and attempt to pull things through. Especially since his biggest fear is coming to life. ] Just think of it like becoming a super hero. There are some super heroes... in games, they can't control their powers at first, right? So that's what you have to do. Learn to control the ability. Take deep breaths when it does happen, and then, remember that you're still there, that you still exist.
Ah, if it happens though, you can always contact me. Unless becoming invisible makes you intangible, too... Hmm. We'll figure something out.
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[He shakes his head almost immediately at that, because being invisible and intangible? He doesn't want to think about that, much less think about eventually losing his voice as well. But no one's said anything about becoming inaudible, so for now... he just takes a deep breath, like she said, and presses his hands flat down on the table as if to try to gather support from it.]
But... yeah. I'll do my best, so that means... you have to do your best, too, okay? Um... I don't know too much about your changes, but... Vietnam's someone good to talk to. She's... helped me a lot, here, so I know I can count on her to help you, too.
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If it's just you that disappears, maybe you should bring something with you in case of emergency... ah, like a notepad, or something.
[ However, she does nod slowly at his words. ] ..... I will.
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[He's quiet for a moment as he looks away to refresh the rsdos page, hoping to hear from either Gundam or Fuyuhiko. Or anyone else he's contacted, really, he has a laundry list of people to care about.]
And... okay. If something happens again... please let me know? You're... you're my best friend, s-so... if something happens, I want to, you know, be there for you. As much as I can.
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Maybe if you don't carry it in your pockets, or have it touch your skin... I'm not sure how it works. We'd have to test it out, probably. To see if you can turn things invisible... or if it's just you.
[ Look, she's trying to be helpful here, even though at this point she's probably sounding a lot like some mad scientist performing experiments on her test subject. ]
But... I will. I really will. I'm glad, Hinata-kun. That you called me your best friend. You're the first friend I've ever had, after all. [ A beat, and then: ] Hey, Hinata-kun. Do you want to come with me, later? I want to visit that person's grave again...
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[He's been through enough tonight, please don't involve him in your mad experiments-! Tomorrow is fine.
He can't help but smile when she says she'll let him know, though, and even more that she's glad to be called his best friend. Saying stuff like that is still nerve-wracking for him, even if his confidence has improved by leaps and bounds. That smile fades quickly when she brings up that person's grave, and he just nods quietly. It's another few seconds before he adds,] Maybe... not tonight for that either, just in case Tanaka and Kuzuryuu need my help on the mountain, but... I'll definitely do that with you. Promise.
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[ There's a soft smile slightly; it seems that she's accepted both his words and decides that it's only fair that he go ahead and help the others. ] Just... be careful, if you go to the mountain again.
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[Just going to check his laptop again. He messaged quite a lot of people tonight that he has to get back to.]
I'm... probably going to hang out here for a while and wait for people to message me back... do you want something to drink or anything...? If you wanted to stay for a while, I mean, if you've got something you'd rather do...
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... I can stay with you, Hinata-kun. I'm not in a hurry to do anything.