*** NANAMIN has joined 003.14.005.70 <NANAMIN> This is Nanami Chiaki. <NANAMIN> ... <NANAMIN> Feel free to leave a message. <NANAMIN> I'll get back to you as soon as I can. <NANAMIN> Thank you.
[ Oh, there he is. It always amazes her sometimes, at how tiny he is. And just like Hinata might have already told him, there it is on her neck: the word, mirai - "future" - strewn around her neck. ]
[It amazes him too. No wait, not amaze. What's the word? Ah, yes: pisses him off. Daily. But he knows that the nightmares that came with sleeping at the mountain have ended, and so far he feels fine being back in Bavan. No headaches or anything, though it's still early.]
[But maybe not too early to start hoping that this mess is almost over and he'll be back to normal soon...]
Yo. [He picks up the key and flies off of the table, coming to hover up closer to her face. He eyes the marks around her neck. Hinata had, indeed, already told both himself and Gundam about them, so he's not surprised to actually see them in person. But...he doesn't like it, not one bit. It's almost like somebody is mocking her. Maybe mocking all of them.] They don't still hurt do they? Hinata said you told him they felt like they'd been stitched on?
[From the looks of things, Fuyuhiko doesn't have any weird markings of his own. Unless they're just so small they're hard to see or under his pants or something.]
[ It's early enough for Nanami to yawn, but not early enough for her to be too sleepy. After all, all of this is way too important for her to fall asleep on, isn't it? ]
... Mm, they don't hurt. Although sometimes it's kind of itchy.
Mmm... If you start feeling weird, let one of us know, alright? I don't trust these things not to have some kind of weird side effect that we're just not seeing yet.
[It's a day ending in y, time for Fuyuhiko to be suspicious about something.]
But...this isn't what's really bothering you, is it?
[ That is, if she even notices it. She has doubts that she will be able to, considering past events that have occurred. But when he mentions that the runes on her neck don't seem to be the most major concern, that only causes her to tug on her hood even more, feeling guilty as she... just makes a frustrated noise. But there is no reply to his question. ]
[Really kind of wishing he had Hajime's harmless face powers. Those would make this so much easier, he's sure. How does he manage to just make people want to confide in him...]
So...what is bothering you, then? Aside from the situation in general, I guess.
[That much, he figures, probably goes without saying. Turning into a monster and being faced with the inevitability of eating people is a far cry from a pleasant experience.]
[ She's silent, not saying anything at first. Continuing to make the frustrated, yet thinking noise from the back of her throat. It's not that she thinks bad of Kuzuryuu! Not at all. She just doesn't like talking about this topic at all in general. ]
I wish there was something I could tell you to make this better. I really do, but... [But there really isn't. It's part of why Chiaki was at the top of his list of people to never show up here. As much as he likes her, it's just not fair to force someone so pure into something that goes against everything they were designed to do.] I dunno that anybody can do that. Least of all somebody like me, who's barely even had to deal with the tame shit, let alone the worst of what this situation has to offer.
[Just another one of the many reasons why slow transformations are the worst. At least whoever was behind the mountain fiasco was kind enough not to make him have to endure that bullshit a second time.]
All I can do is tell you what Hinata probably already has. You're not alone in this. None of us are. So...if there's anything I can do to help, tell me. I mean, that's the least I can do, considering...
[ That's right, she's Pixel Jesus. Even though she did things to help them out, to save the rest of them because of who she was and the nature of it all, that doesn't change the fact that she didn't help them out to get something in return in the slightest bit. That's not why she did it. ]
Mm... [ She agrees that she's not alone. Ever since she's been here, she's been lucky that, at the very least, she's not alone. It's one of the few saving graces about being here. ] Thank you, Kuzuryuu-kun.
[ Smiling, she places her hand where her heart is. ]
Can you promise me something? I... I don't know if Hinata-kun would be able to, [ or rather, she knows that he would try, but not go to extremes - she thinks. ] but if he can't stop me, somehow, just in case... can you...?
[ She's not sure if he'd take the offer. It's fine if he doesn't, but, you know?? Hinata is a weenie???? He might not be able to restrain her or whatever if and when they have to. Even though she really hopes that doesn't happen. ]
[He's not sure he likes where this conversation is going. She's not asking him to kill her if she loses her mind, is she? That's sure what it sounds like, but maybe he's just assuming the worst as usual.]
If he can't...stop you from doing what, exactly?
[He's willing to go to extremes but...even he has lines he won't cross.]
[Make sure that doesn't happen again. Now, Fuyuhiko may not be the smartest in their class, but he's not as stupid as he'd have people believe. Even he can realize his assumption that this conversation is about dealing with eventualities was completely wrong.]
[Well this explains a lot.]
...you have it already, don't you? The hunger. [God, that just sounds so corny to say and he kind of wants to kick himself a little for it but whatever. That's not what's important right now.]
[ She doesn't say anything at first; instead, she just allows her actions to speak for itself as she dips her head slowly. Yes, she most certainly does have it already. ]
He just said you were having a hard time. I guess he thought it wasn't his place to tell us exactly why. [Which he understands! It's the same reason he himself hadn't told Gundam or Mahiru about the whole Izuru Kamukura thing. But seeing Chiaki now, he almost wonders if it might have been kinder for Hinata to spill the beans.]
[He sighs.]
I meant what I said, I'll do what I can to help. But [And this is a big but. One significant enough to earn a pause.] I need to know what your plan is for dealing with this. Because if your idea of "stop me" is "kill me", then...I can't make that promise.
[Hajime or Gundam, maybe. But Nanami? No way. Can't do it.]
[ She understands exactly what he means. In a way, they already killed her once, didn't they? That was exactly what the vote signified. And Hinata himself had said it during that trial as well; that to reveal her as the traitor was to send her to death row. But regardless of that, all Nanami can do is grab at her arm, tugging at it with clear discomfort and all of her strength.
It's hard to come up with ideas, but... ]
I don't want to die again. [ That much is for certain. And she won't force somebody to do it if they don't have to. Not even if it was for a mercy kill. ] I'm... planning on looking for alternatives, so that nobody else has to die. Some people said, on the forums, that maybe if I just put them underwater for a few seconds and then perform CPR, I think... I don't have to kill them.
[ It would mean that she'd have to do it to more people, and still hurt them nevertheless, but... it's still, in a way, better than the alternative. ] But I'm not sure. If anything goes wrong though, I think... maybe, if it's possible, to tie me down somewhere and restrain my movements.
[ At least it will mean that she won't be hurting anybody. That much, she would be grateful for. ]
[He's visibly less tense at the assertion that she doesn't want to die again. He's never been more glad to learn that he was just jumping to the worst possible conclusion.]
Hopefully that will work... I mean...mermaids drown people, right? Maybe near-drowning is enough. You hear stories all the time about people reviving after their hearts stop beating for a little bit.
[Where is Tsumiki when you need her?]
If you're gonna do that though, you should probably find somebody to teach you CPR. That shit can go horribly wrong if you don't know what you're doing...
[AGAIN. TSUMIKI. WHERE YOU AT WHEN WE NEED YOU?]
As for tying you down... I don't know if that's gonna work. I mean...even if we tie you down so you can't kill anybody, you're still gonna need to eat.
Mm. I mean...it's a lot harder to do outside of a hospital but...it's not impossible to bring someone back after they've flatlined if you act quick enough.
[Surely somebody here knows CPR.]
Kimishima might know how. She's a doctor. Runs the clinic up by Lake Dala if you've ever been out there.
[He offers a small, hopeful smile.]
It's a problem, yeah, but we'll figure something out. We've solved harder problems, right?
[GOT THIS SHIT ON LOCKDOWN. YEEEAAAAHHHH!!! Fuyuhiko smiles a little bit in spite of himself.]
Heh. Sounds terrible to say but...in a way I guess we sorta got lucky here. With you starting so early. I mean...can you imagine what it'd be like if all of us got it at the same time?
Especially since... [He glances back over in the direction of he and Gundam's room, smile fading.] There's no way Tanaka and Hinata aren't gonna have a hard time with this. There's no work around when it comes to souls. Not trying to downplay what you've gotta deal with or anything, but...
[But the soul thing is especially terrible given the state they left things in back on the island? And knowing Hinata and Gundam, neither of them will actually let on just how much it bothers them.]
[ While it's true that how she has to deal with people is pretty bad, if they can come up with a countermeasure, she might be better off than some of the others. Clutching her hands towards her heart, her gaze lowers, pressing her lips together tightly. ]
Hinata-kun-- I think it'll be really horrible on him. Since he... [ Her words trail off as her gaze lowers towards the floor, recalling the time where everyone pretty much almost starved to death. ] He won't do it, I think. He'll probably shut himself in his room, probably.
Probably, yeah. We don't have to worry about Tanaka not doing it, at least, but...there's no way leaving somebody in that state's not gonna fuck with him.
[No matter what Gundam might say to the contrary.]
Hinata though... [He shakes his head.] I hate to underestimate the guy, but you're right. He's gonna need help going through with it.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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... Hello, Kuzuryuu-kun.
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[But maybe not too early to start hoping that this mess is almost over and he'll be back to normal soon...]
Yo. [He picks up the key and flies off of the table, coming to hover up closer to her face. He eyes the marks around her neck. Hinata had, indeed, already told both himself and Gundam about them, so he's not surprised to actually see them in person. But...he doesn't like it, not one bit. It's almost like somebody is mocking her. Maybe mocking all of them.] They don't still hurt do they? Hinata said you told him they felt like they'd been stitched on?
[From the looks of things, Fuyuhiko doesn't have any weird markings of his own. Unless they're just so small they're hard to see or under his pants or something.]
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... Mm, they don't hurt. Although sometimes it's kind of itchy.
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Mmm... If you start feeling weird, let one of us know, alright? I don't trust these things not to have some kind of weird side effect that we're just not seeing yet.
[It's a day ending in y, time for Fuyuhiko to be suspicious about something.]
But...this isn't what's really bothering you, is it?
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[ That is, if she even notices it. She has doubts that she will be able to, considering past events that have occurred. But when he mentions that the runes on her neck don't seem to be the most major concern, that only causes her to tug on her hood even more, feeling guilty as she... just makes a frustrated noise. But there is no reply to his question. ]
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[Really kind of wishing he had Hajime's harmless face powers. Those would make this so much easier, he's sure. How does he manage to just make people want to confide in him...]
So...what is bothering you, then? Aside from the situation in general, I guess.
[That much, he figures, probably goes without saying. Turning into a monster and being faced with the inevitability of eating people is a far cry from a pleasant experience.]
Or is it just that?
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Mm... yeah. It's just that.
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I wish there was something I could tell you to make this better. I really do, but... [But there really isn't. It's part of why Chiaki was at the top of his list of people to never show up here. As much as he likes her, it's just not fair to force someone so pure into something that goes against everything they were designed to do.] I dunno that anybody can do that. Least of all somebody like me, who's barely even had to deal with the tame shit, let alone the worst of what this situation has to offer.
[Just another one of the many reasons why slow transformations are the worst. At least whoever was behind the mountain fiasco was kind enough not to make him have to endure that bullshit a second time.]
All I can do is tell you what Hinata probably already has. You're not alone in this. None of us are. So...if there's anything I can do to help, tell me. I mean, that's the least I can do, considering...
[CONSIDERING SHE BASICALLY DIED FOR HIS SINS?]
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Mm... [ She agrees that she's not alone. Ever since she's been here, she's been lucky that, at the very least, she's not alone. It's one of the few saving graces about being here. ] Thank you, Kuzuryuu-kun.
[ Smiling, she places her hand where her heart is. ]
Can you promise me something? I... I don't know if Hinata-kun would be able to, [ or rather, she knows that he would try, but not go to extremes - she thinks. ] but if he can't stop me, somehow, just in case... can you...?
[ She's not sure if he'd take the offer. It's fine if he doesn't, but, you know?? Hinata is a weenie???? He might not be able to restrain her or whatever if and when they have to. Even though she really hopes that doesn't happen. ]
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...
[He's not sure he likes where this conversation is going. She's not asking him to kill her if she loses her mind, is she? That's sure what it sounds like, but maybe he's just assuming the worst as usual.]
If he can't...stop you from doing what, exactly?
[He's willing to go to extremes but...even he has lines he won't cross.]
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I... don't want to hurt anybody. [ That isn't answering the question, Nanami. ] Just make sure that doesn't happen again. If Hinata-kun can't do it.
[ Because he might not even be able to take the barest of extremes. She doesn't know. ]
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[Well this explains a lot.]
...you have it already, don't you? The hunger. [God, that just sounds so corny to say and he kind of wants to kick himself a little for it but whatever. That's not what's important right now.]
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[ She doesn't say anything at first; instead, she just allows her actions to speak for itself as she dips her head slowly. Yes, she most certainly does have it already. ]
I already told Hinata-kun about it.
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He just said you were having a hard time. I guess he thought it wasn't his place to tell us exactly why. [Which he understands! It's the same reason he himself hadn't told Gundam or Mahiru about the whole Izuru Kamukura thing. But seeing Chiaki now, he almost wonders if it might have been kinder for Hinata to spill the beans.]
[He sighs.]
I meant what I said, I'll do what I can to help. But [And this is a big but. One significant enough to earn a pause.] I need to know what your plan is for dealing with this. Because if your idea of "stop me" is "kill me", then...I can't make that promise.
[Hajime or Gundam, maybe. But Nanami? No way. Can't do it.]
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[ She understands exactly what he means. In a way, they already killed her once, didn't they? That was exactly what the vote signified. And Hinata himself had said it during that trial as well; that to reveal her as the traitor was to send her to death row. But regardless of that, all Nanami can do is grab at her arm, tugging at it with clear discomfort and all of her strength.
It's hard to come up with ideas, but... ]
I don't want to die again. [ That much is for certain. And she won't force somebody to do it if they don't have to. Not even if it was for a mercy kill. ] I'm... planning on looking for alternatives, so that nobody else has to die. Some people said, on the forums, that maybe if I just put them underwater for a few seconds and then perform CPR, I think... I don't have to kill them.
[ It would mean that she'd have to do it to more people, and still hurt them nevertheless, but... it's still, in a way, better than the alternative. ] But I'm not sure. If anything goes wrong though, I think... maybe, if it's possible, to tie me down somewhere and restrain my movements.
[ At least it will mean that she won't be hurting anybody. That much, she would be grateful for. ]
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Hopefully that will work... I mean...mermaids drown people, right? Maybe near-drowning is enough. You hear stories all the time about people reviving after their hearts stop beating for a little bit.
[Where is Tsumiki when you need her?]
If you're gonna do that though, you should probably find somebody to teach you CPR. That shit can go horribly wrong if you don't know what you're doing...
[AGAIN. TSUMIKI. WHERE YOU AT WHEN WE NEED YOU?]
As for tying you down... I don't know if that's gonna work. I mean...even if we tie you down so you can't kill anybody, you're still gonna need to eat.
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[ She's never heard stories about that, but if he has, then that's definitely amazing. ]
Mm, I think I can find someone to teach me. [ Or she can find someone. She'll be able to do one of those two eventually. ]
I guess it's... still a problem either way.
[ Hopefully she can learn CPR. It'll be useful. ]
heart*...wow...just one......people don't have multiple hearts....
[Surely somebody here knows CPR.]
Kimishima might know how. She's a doctor. Runs the clinic up by Lake Dala if you've ever been out there.
[He offers a small, hopeful smile.]
It's a problem, yeah, but we'll figure something out. We've solved harder problems, right?
wrong video game franchise, bro....
[ Someone looks rather determined. And it shows by the fire in her eyes, and the clenched hands into tight, balled fists. THEY GOT THIS. ]
And definitely. I want to get through this, so that way, I can help out you guys.
/stares at despair restoration program plan. r u sure this isn't kingdom hearts?
Heh. Sounds terrible to say but...in a way I guess we sorta got lucky here. With you starting so early. I mean...can you imagine what it'd be like if all of us got it at the same time?
Especially since... [He glances back over in the direction of he and Gundam's room, smile fading.] There's no way Tanaka and Hinata aren't gonna have a hard time with this. There's no work around when it comes to souls. Not trying to downplay what you've gotta deal with or anything, but...
[But the soul thing is especially terrible given the state they left things in back on the island? And knowing Hinata and Gundam, neither of them will actually let on just how much it bothers them.]
sdr2 is secretly chain of memories
[ While it's true that how she has to deal with people is pretty bad, if they can come up with a countermeasure, she might be better off than some of the others. Clutching her hands towards her heart, her gaze lowers, pressing her lips together tightly. ]
Hinata-kun-- I think it'll be really horrible on him. Since he... [ Her words trail off as her gaze lowers towards the floor, recalling the time where everyone pretty much almost starved to death. ] He won't do it, I think. He'll probably shut himself in his room, probably.
not a wholly inaccurate statement
[No matter what Gundam might say to the contrary.]
Hinata though... [He shakes his head.] I hate to underestimate the guy, but you're right. He's gonna need help going through with it.
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That's why we should all help each other.
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Mm, and we will. One step at a time, right?