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It's already... too late for that.
[ She sounds distant as she tries to muster enough courage to say that, though she seems to tug at the hood as if to hide herself even more, shrinking back into her chair. Although it's to be expected - she would have probably said the same, if the situation were in reverse - but there's still a strange panging in her chest that she doesn't understand.
It hurts just to admit it. It hurts just to say it. Remembering it also seems to cause migraines. ]
[ She sounds distant as she tries to muster enough courage to say that, though she seems to tug at the hood as if to hide herself even more, shrinking back into her chair. Although it's to be expected - she would have probably said the same, if the situation were in reverse - but there's still a strange panging in her chest that she doesn't understand.
It hurts just to admit it. It hurts just to say it. Remembering it also seems to cause migraines. ]
...Huh?
[It's a quiet noise of confusion as he draws his hands back to himself, sitting up straighter in his chair. He... has to be misunderstanding, right? He misheard, or maybe she misspoke, or he just missed something, some indicator that this is her attempt at a joke.]
W...What are you talking about?
[Yeah. Best to ask for clarification before jumping to conclusions, even though there's a cold, icy clawing right in the pit of his stomach.]
[It's a quiet noise of confusion as he draws his hands back to himself, sitting up straighter in his chair. He... has to be misunderstanding, right? He misheard, or maybe she misspoke, or he just missed something, some indicator that this is her attempt at a joke.]
W...What are you talking about?
[Yeah. Best to ask for clarification before jumping to conclusions, even though there's a cold, icy clawing right in the pit of his stomach.]
[ There's a pained expression on her face, it's clear that she doesn't want to talk about it at all... in fact, she honestly prefers to keep it to herself. Shaking her head in denial, all she can do is keep a soft voice that seems to almost crack as she speaks. ]
Hey, Hinata-kun. Do you know how mermaids feed?
Hey, Hinata-kun. Do you know how mermaids feed?
...
[Why is he having this conversation. This makes two of them who really, really don't want to have this discussion, but... he can't back out now, as much as he wants to. He can't just pretend she didn't say what she did, even if he looks like he's going to be sick.]
...Yeah. It's... drowning, right?
[Why is he having this conversation. This makes two of them who really, really don't want to have this discussion, but... he can't back out now, as much as he wants to. He can't just pretend she didn't say what she did, even if he looks like he's going to be sick.]
...Yeah. It's... drowning, right?
[ She nods quietly, before continuing, keeping her voice even, yet not looking at Hinata as she speaks. ]
The other day... I drowned somebody. When... the changes, [ She pauses, trying to catch herself, sounding very unsure of herself, not sure how to say it properly. ] when they happened... I could feel it. I didn't want to do it. I told myself that I wouldn't. I don't like seeing people die. I don't like the idea of killing people.
... I got scared. I heard the stories, back on the mountain. That people could go out of control if they let it sit for too long. I was scared of that, but more importantly, I was scared of hurting my friends. [ Raising her head a little, she tries to look at him. It's with calm eyes, and a strained smile. ] Sorry, Hinata-kun.
If you're angry at me... if you're upset... because I killed somebody... it's okay. Even if I say that when it happened, it felt as if I were a character being controlled in a video game... it doesn't excuse what I did. Just as long as everyone else is safe, I think, I'll find a way around it.
[ And that's when she lowers her head back down again, waiting to see how he'll reply. There's several ways this can end up and she's... not exactly sure about that. After all, she was never good at human interactions. They're unpredictable. ]
The other day... I drowned somebody. When... the changes, [ She pauses, trying to catch herself, sounding very unsure of herself, not sure how to say it properly. ] when they happened... I could feel it. I didn't want to do it. I told myself that I wouldn't. I don't like seeing people die. I don't like the idea of killing people.
... I got scared. I heard the stories, back on the mountain. That people could go out of control if they let it sit for too long. I was scared of that, but more importantly, I was scared of hurting my friends. [ Raising her head a little, she tries to look at him. It's with calm eyes, and a strained smile. ] Sorry, Hinata-kun.
If you're angry at me... if you're upset... because I killed somebody... it's okay. Even if I say that when it happened, it felt as if I were a character being controlled in a video game... it doesn't excuse what I did. Just as long as everyone else is safe, I think, I'll find a way around it.
[ And that's when she lowers her head back down again, waiting to see how he'll reply. There's several ways this can end up and she's... not exactly sure about that. After all, she was never good at human interactions. They're unpredictable. ]
Nanami...
[He doesn't say anything more than that at first, his hands still brought in defensively into his body as if to fend off a physical attack. Not that he genuinely thinks she'll hurt him, but because it hurts to hear her speak like this, to hear what had happened.
He can't say anything, really, not immediately anyway. It fits what the others had told him, what he'd had repeated to him ad nauseam whether he wanted to hear it or not. And it's hard, it's really, really hard not to try to justify it as an "us versus them;" as long as she doesn't hurt one of their classmates, it's fine... That, he doesn't want to accept, and he just shakes his head as if to dismiss the treacherous thought.]
I-it...
[And this isn't the first time she's killed someone, either. Not in the most technical sense, though really, he's certain that anyone other than Monokuma would make the ruling that Nagito had been the true culprit in that case.]
...I'm not mad at you, [he says finally, wanting to clear that up first as he stares down at the table.] I'm... it's the Fog God's fault, for doing this to us. I just... you did your best to fight it, right? I-It's not like... you killed someone because you wanted to, right?
I just, I can't... there's no way I could help you with that, Nanami, I can't. [2Ween4Murder.] I can help you look for another way, but I can't...
[He doesn't say anything more than that at first, his hands still brought in defensively into his body as if to fend off a physical attack. Not that he genuinely thinks she'll hurt him, but because it hurts to hear her speak like this, to hear what had happened.
He can't say anything, really, not immediately anyway. It fits what the others had told him, what he'd had repeated to him ad nauseam whether he wanted to hear it or not. And it's hard, it's really, really hard not to try to justify it as an "us versus them;" as long as she doesn't hurt one of their classmates, it's fine... That, he doesn't want to accept, and he just shakes his head as if to dismiss the treacherous thought.]
I-it...
[And this isn't the first time she's killed someone, either. Not in the most technical sense, though really, he's certain that anyone other than Monokuma would make the ruling that Nagito had been the true culprit in that case.]
...I'm not mad at you, [he says finally, wanting to clear that up first as he stares down at the table.] I'm... it's the Fog God's fault, for doing this to us. I just... you did your best to fight it, right? I-It's not like... you killed someone because you wanted to, right?
I just, I can't... there's no way I could help you with that, Nanami, I can't. [2Ween4Murder.] I can help you look for another way, but I can't...
[ She's silent for the longest of moments, tugging at her arm uncomfortably. The guilt really eats at her when it comes to this sort of thing; killing others isn't something that she's used to, or hell, something that she wants to make a norm. ]
... I'm glad. [ That, at the very least, he isn't mad at her. She expected him to be, but it's fine if he isn't. She doesn't look at him in the eyes, though, just staring at the table and keeping her voice low. ]
I've been thinking about it... finding another way. I don't want to hurt anymore people. I... made a grave for him, too. I visit every day.
[ Look, she doesn't like this any more than most sane people do. It hurts. But then, she looks at Hinata, directly in the eye, trying to be brave. It's painful, it's just like that trial... and yet, it's different. She has to do this, keeping a stern look in her eyes as she speaks, serious. ]
Hinata-kun. Can you promise me something? I don't want to hurt anybody. That's why... if anything happens, if I go crazy again, I need you to stop me. Can you do that?
... I'm glad. [ That, at the very least, he isn't mad at her. She expected him to be, but it's fine if he isn't. She doesn't look at him in the eyes, though, just staring at the table and keeping her voice low. ]
I've been thinking about it... finding another way. I don't want to hurt anymore people. I... made a grave for him, too. I visit every day.
[ Look, she doesn't like this any more than most sane people do. It hurts. But then, she looks at Hinata, directly in the eye, trying to be brave. It's painful, it's just like that trial... and yet, it's different. She has to do this, keeping a stern look in her eyes as she speaks, serious. ]
Hinata-kun. Can you promise me something? I don't want to hurt anybody. That's why... if anything happens, if I go crazy again, I need you to stop me. Can you do that?
I... you were my first friend, Nanami, you know? I can't be mad at you. Not... not even for something like this.
[He thinks she probably does know that, considering what the entire purpose of the program had been in the beginning. To try to give him and the others what they'd never had before.
When she looks him in the eye, he stops trying to avoid her gaze. As much as he wants to, as much as he wants to just take time and think it over, he can't just let this hang.]
I'll... I'll do everything I can, Nanami. Y-you just have to tell me, and I'll... [He doesn't know what he's going to do, but he can't refuse her request for help like that. Not when it's something he might actually be able to do.]
Do... do the others know...? [And, unspoken, the follow-up, can I tell them...? Because honestly, someone like Fuyuhiko or Gundam is probably the better one to talk to about this kind of thing. Even Mahiru, just based on how long she's been here.]
[He thinks she probably does know that, considering what the entire purpose of the program had been in the beginning. To try to give him and the others what they'd never had before.
When she looks him in the eye, he stops trying to avoid her gaze. As much as he wants to, as much as he wants to just take time and think it over, he can't just let this hang.]
I'll... I'll do everything I can, Nanami. Y-you just have to tell me, and I'll... [He doesn't know what he's going to do, but he can't refuse her request for help like that. Not when it's something he might actually be able to do.]
Do... do the others know...? [And, unspoken, the follow-up, can I tell them...? Because honestly, someone like Fuyuhiko or Gundam is probably the better one to talk to about this kind of thing. Even Mahiru, just based on how long she's been here.]
[ It's the same for her. When it comes down to it, the first friend she's ever had was Hinata himself. He's one of the few people who treated her as something more than just... data, even now that he knows the truth. ]
I haven't told the others yet. You're the first one... I told. [ There's a pause, just slight. Now to change the subject. ]
Hey, Hinata-kun... have you been doing alright... since the last time we talked? The others, they... they don't know about that, do they? [ And by 'that' she gestures towards his starking red eyes. She's not talking about the eye color itself, though. She's talking about what it means.
Since by now they've pretty much surmised that this world likes to make "jokes" based on their lives. They're not funny. ]
I haven't told the others yet. You're the first one... I told. [ There's a pause, just slight. Now to change the subject. ]
Hey, Hinata-kun... have you been doing alright... since the last time we talked? The others, they... they don't know about that, do they? [ And by 'that' she gestures towards his starking red eyes. She's not talking about the eye color itself, though. She's talking about what it means.
Since by now they've pretty much surmised that this world likes to make "jokes" based on their lives. They're not funny. ]
...Okay.
[Then he won't tell anyone the details of what they've discussed, either. Maybe nudge his classmates to talk to her more, make sure they're all there for her.
At the gesture, he stiffens a little. The subject change is welcome, but did it have to be that?? It's still a sore spot for him, even if,]
...Kuzuryuu knows. He said it's just the Fog God messing with us, but... shit!
[Fuyuhiko! And Gundam. Give him a second, Chiaki, he's digging in his bag to haul out his laptop and set it to the side of the table so it's not obscuring their view of each other. Let him just bring the network back up as he explains,]
They were at the mountain, I've been waiting to hear back from them. Make sure they're okay.
[More cat-herding. But with that out of the way, and no response from the other two dangans, Hajime just sighs again and rubs his eyes with one hand.]
A shade, [he admits quietly, glancing toward her again.] I've... talked to a lot of people over the last new days, and that's... that's supposedly what I'm going to be. It's... not just the eyes, I saw...
[And he gestures vaguely toward his hair. How even did Izuru's hair work, the truest mystery.]
But... like Kuzuryuu said, it's probably just... the Fog God trying to scare me. I hope, anyway.
[Then he won't tell anyone the details of what they've discussed, either. Maybe nudge his classmates to talk to her more, make sure they're all there for her.
At the gesture, he stiffens a little. The subject change is welcome, but did it have to be that?? It's still a sore spot for him, even if,]
...Kuzuryuu knows. He said it's just the Fog God messing with us, but... shit!
[Fuyuhiko! And Gundam. Give him a second, Chiaki, he's digging in his bag to haul out his laptop and set it to the side of the table so it's not obscuring their view of each other. Let him just bring the network back up as he explains,]
They were at the mountain, I've been waiting to hear back from them. Make sure they're okay.
[More cat-herding. But with that out of the way, and no response from the other two dangans, Hajime just sighs again and rubs his eyes with one hand.]
A shade, [he admits quietly, glancing toward her again.] I've... talked to a lot of people over the last new days, and that's... that's supposedly what I'm going to be. It's... not just the eyes, I saw...
[And he gestures vaguely toward his hair. How even did Izuru's hair work, the truest mystery.]
But... like Kuzuryuu said, it's probably just... the Fog God trying to scare me. I hope, anyway.
...Yeah. I'm gonna try, anyway. It's just... it's hard, Nanami. The other day, I found out I can turn invisible. It didn't last too long, but at the time, all I could think about was... that I could literally disappear.
[His worst fear made a literal truth. Though he might still be present as Hajime, no one could see him. Maybe no one would be able to hear him, either, with time... he just doesn't know, and that's more frightening than anything else about his changes.]
And I'm... I just don't know. I've been talking to a whole bunch of different people about what shades are capable of, and... they eat souls, Nanami. They leave people in comas that they'll never be able to wake up from.
[For many reasons, not the least of which are his classmates back home, that bothers him.]
I don't... want to do that. I don't think I can.
[His worst fear made a literal truth. Though he might still be present as Hajime, no one could see him. Maybe no one would be able to hear him, either, with time... he just doesn't know, and that's more frightening than anything else about his changes.]
And I'm... I just don't know. I've been talking to a whole bunch of different people about what shades are capable of, and... they eat souls, Nanami. They leave people in comas that they'll never be able to wake up from.
[For many reasons, not the least of which are his classmates back home, that bothers him.]
I don't... want to do that. I don't think I can.
[ She doesn't say anything at first. All she does, instead, is listen carefully, trying to parse things through and make sure that she doesn't accidentally say something... well, something bad, and unbefitting of the situation.
Looking at him with sullen eyes, she brings her hand up to his shoulder, thinking. What can she say? ]
... Hey, Hinata-kun. Just because you can turn invisible doesn't mean that you have to, I think. [ Even though Nanami herself is going through her own problems, she still tries her best to keep a steady mindset and attempt to pull things through. Especially since his biggest fear is coming to life. ] Just think of it like becoming a super hero. There are some super heroes... in games, they can't control their powers at first, right? So that's what you have to do. Learn to control the ability. Take deep breaths when it does happen, and then, remember that you're still there, that you still exist.
Ah, if it happens though, you can always contact me. Unless becoming invisible makes you intangible, too... Hmm. We'll figure something out.
Looking at him with sullen eyes, she brings her hand up to his shoulder, thinking. What can she say? ]
... Hey, Hinata-kun. Just because you can turn invisible doesn't mean that you have to, I think. [ Even though Nanami herself is going through her own problems, she still tries her best to keep a steady mindset and attempt to pull things through. Especially since his biggest fear is coming to life. ] Just think of it like becoming a super hero. There are some super heroes... in games, they can't control their powers at first, right? So that's what you have to do. Learn to control the ability. Take deep breaths when it does happen, and then, remember that you're still there, that you still exist.
Ah, if it happens though, you can always contact me. Unless becoming invisible makes you intangible, too... Hmm. We'll figure something out.
No, they could... I could still touch things, people could still feel me when I was invisible.
[He shakes his head almost immediately at that, because being invisible and intangible? He doesn't want to think about that, much less think about eventually losing his voice as well. But no one's said anything about becoming inaudible, so for now... he just takes a deep breath, like she said, and presses his hands flat down on the table as if to try to gather support from it.]
But... yeah. I'll do my best, so that means... you have to do your best, too, okay? Um... I don't know too much about your changes, but... Vietnam's someone good to talk to. She's... helped me a lot, here, so I know I can count on her to help you, too.
[He shakes his head almost immediately at that, because being invisible and intangible? He doesn't want to think about that, much less think about eventually losing his voice as well. But no one's said anything about becoming inaudible, so for now... he just takes a deep breath, like she said, and presses his hands flat down on the table as if to try to gather support from it.]
But... yeah. I'll do my best, so that means... you have to do your best, too, okay? Um... I don't know too much about your changes, but... Vietnam's someone good to talk to. She's... helped me a lot, here, so I know I can count on her to help you, too.
... Mm, if that's the case, then it's fine, Hinata-kun. Because even if you're invisible, as long as you have your voice, as long as you can still touch things, as long as people can still feel you, it'll be okay.
If it's just you that disappears, maybe you should bring something with you in case of emergency... ah, like a notepad, or something.
[ However, she does nod slowly at his words. ] ..... I will.
If it's just you that disappears, maybe you should bring something with you in case of emergency... ah, like a notepad, or something.
[ However, she does nod slowly at his words. ] ..... I will.
[A conversation with Hajime after last night's explosion has left Fuyuhiko more than a little concerned about the class's resident cinnamon roll. So once he and Gundam are back in Bavan and the werebear is passed out, the faerie decides to check up on her. Only to realize...he's not exactly sure what to say. "hey, hinata said you're having some trouble adjusting to monster life, let's talk about it," just doesn't seem like the right approach here. But neither does just striking up a normal conversation.]
[God, remind him again why he decided to start caring about you losers again?]
>> NINEHEADED has posted an AUDIO MESSAGE. To listen type LISTEN01.
Hey, Nanami, just thought I'd check in and see how you were doing. Tanaka and I made it back from the mountain alright. Hinata too, I ended up bringing him up there because he wanted a closer look at what happened to the peak. [...man this was probably not the right approach either, was it? But whatever, he's already recorded it now. May as well finish it off.] Anyway...just let me know when you get this, I guess.
[#nailed it]
[God, remind him again why he decided to start caring about you losers again?]
>> NINEHEADED has posted an AUDIO MESSAGE. To listen type LISTEN01.
Hey, Nanami, just thought I'd check in and see how you were doing. Tanaka and I made it back from the mountain alright. Hinata too, I ended up bringing him up there because he wanted a closer look at what happened to the peak. [...man this was probably not the right approach either, was it? But whatever, he's already recorded it now. May as well finish it off.] Anyway...just let me know when you get this, I guess.
[#nailed it]
[ Even if the execution might not have been perfect, Nanami doesn't mind at all; in fact, she's just relieved that they're doing alright. And since he decided to give her an audio message, she replies in kind, albeit a little awkwardly. ]
>> NANAMIN has posted an AUDIO MESSAGE. To listen, type LISTEN02.
... I'm glad that you are all okay. I'm doing... better. Probably.
[ She's not sure what else to say??? So let's just leave it at this for now. ]
>> NANAMIN has posted an AUDIO MESSAGE. To listen, type LISTEN02.
... I'm glad that you are all okay. I'm doing... better. Probably.
[ She's not sure what else to say??? So let's just leave it at this for now. ]
My clothes disappeared, too, so I don't know if carrying something will help, but... it's worth a try, I guess.
[He's quiet for a moment as he looks away to refresh the rsdos page, hoping to hear from either Gundam or Fuyuhiko. Or anyone else he's contacted, really, he has a laundry list of people to care about.]
And... okay. If something happens again... please let me know? You're... you're my best friend, s-so... if something happens, I want to, you know, be there for you. As much as I can.
[He's quiet for a moment as he looks away to refresh the rsdos page, hoping to hear from either Gundam or Fuyuhiko. Or anyone else he's contacted, really, he has a laundry list of people to care about.]
And... okay. If something happens again... please let me know? You're... you're my best friend, s-so... if something happens, I want to, you know, be there for you. As much as I can.
... Hm. [ That's interesting to know, which is why she is... mulling it over in her head. ]
Maybe if you don't carry it in your pockets, or have it touch your skin... I'm not sure how it works. We'd have to test it out, probably. To see if you can turn things invisible... or if it's just you.
[ Look, she's trying to be helpful here, even though at this point she's probably sounding a lot like some mad scientist performing experiments on her test subject. ]
But... I will. I really will. I'm glad, Hinata-kun. That you called me your best friend. You're the first friend I've ever had, after all. [ A beat, and then: ] Hey, Hinata-kun. Do you want to come with me, later? I want to visit that person's grave again...
Maybe if you don't carry it in your pockets, or have it touch your skin... I'm not sure how it works. We'd have to test it out, probably. To see if you can turn things invisible... or if it's just you.
[ Look, she's trying to be helpful here, even though at this point she's probably sounding a lot like some mad scientist performing experiments on her test subject. ]
But... I will. I really will. I'm glad, Hinata-kun. That you called me your best friend. You're the first friend I've ever had, after all. [ A beat, and then: ] Hey, Hinata-kun. Do you want to come with me, later? I want to visit that person's grave again...
[Recording is just easier than awkwardly pecking at the keys with your feet...also faster. Way faster. The sooner he stops being a faerie, the better, tbqh.]
>> NINEHEADED has posted an AUDIO MESSAGE. To listen, type LISTEN03.
Is there anything I can do to make it less...probably, and more definitely? I know you already talked to Hinata, but... well the two of you are alike in some ways. If you're having problems, I don't want you to think you have to keep quiet about 'em or that...Hinata's the only one you can talk to. I mean...we're all going through this together, right?
[And he's always kind of had a soft spot for Nanami. One that's only gotten bigger after the events of Komaeda's trial. So even if he's not the best person for this sort of thing (and he knows it), dammit, he is going to try!!!]
>> NINEHEADED has posted an AUDIO MESSAGE. To listen, type LISTEN03.
Is there anything I can do to make it less...probably, and more definitely? I know you already talked to Hinata, but... well the two of you are alike in some ways. If you're having problems, I don't want you to think you have to keep quiet about 'em or that...Hinata's the only one you can talk to. I mean...we're all going through this together, right?
[And he's always kind of had a soft spot for Nanami. One that's only gotten bigger after the events of Komaeda's trial. So even if he's not the best person for this sort of thing (and he knows it), dammit, he is going to try!!!]
[ There's definitely a lengthy amount of time before his message and her response. Maybe it's because she listened to it several times, or perhaps she's thinking about what to say, she doesn't know.
But it's okay, Kuzuryuu, maybe you can try getting Nanami's Hope Shards too, you can do it!!! Be the new protag and upsurp Hinata, clearly... ]
>> NANAMIN has posted an AUDIO MESSAGE. To listen, type LISTEN04.
... I don't know. [ That sure was a pause when the audio message actually started playing. She sounds, what, downcast?? A little more monotonous than usual? It's hard to tell, with just her voice. ] But, hm... I wanted to tell you, and maybe Tanaka-kun, too... since, I think, it would be better for me to tell you about it, in person.
But it's okay, Kuzuryuu, maybe you can try getting Nanami's Hope Shards too, you can do it!!! Be the new protag and upsurp Hinata, clearly... ]
>> NANAMIN has posted an AUDIO MESSAGE. To listen, type LISTEN04.
... I don't know. [ That sure was a pause when the audio message actually started playing. She sounds, what, downcast?? A little more monotonous than usual? It's hard to tell, with just her voice. ] But, hm... I wanted to tell you, and maybe Tanaka-kun, too... since, I think, it would be better for me to tell you about it, in person.
[Maybe he will! He had some practice before Hajime showed up, after all...move over, ahoge nerd, there's a new protag in town.]
>> NINEHEADED has posted an AUDIO MESSAGE. To listen, type LISTEN05.
Alright, I get that. You won't hear me complaining about not using these pieces of shit. But if you wanted to talk to both of us together...Tanaka's going to be out of commission till at least noon, if not the rest of the day. He basically hibernates after he changes back...can't get through to him at all. I can meet you somewhere now if you want though. Or whenever...it's not like I have any plans right now.
[CAN'T WORK WHEN YOU'RE TEENY...]
>> NINEHEADED has posted an AUDIO MESSAGE. To listen, type LISTEN05.
Alright, I get that. You won't hear me complaining about not using these pieces of shit. But if you wanted to talk to both of us together...Tanaka's going to be out of commission till at least noon, if not the rest of the day. He basically hibernates after he changes back...can't get through to him at all. I can meet you somewhere now if you want though. Or whenever...it's not like I have any plans right now.
[CAN'T WORK WHEN YOU'RE TEENY...]
>> NINEHEADED has posted an AUDIO MESSAGE. To listen, type LISTEN07.
It's fine. As for where...anywhere works for me. I could meet you in a park, or you could meet me at the motel and I can take you up to the mountain if you want. Depends on how much privacy you need.
It's fine. As for where...anywhere works for me. I could meet you in a park, or you could meet me at the motel and I can take you up to the mountain if you want. Depends on how much privacy you need.
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